Level 68 Hat This hat does not in any way, shape, or form, promote smoking or
gambling.
Grenadier's Softcap
Level 81 Hat
The Fruit Shoot #4564
Level 3 Hat This fun, all-ages activity brings history alive! All you need is a
bow, an arrow, an apple, and an idiot. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Reggaelator (equipped)
Level 28 Hat Every little thing is gonna be alright. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Hustler's Hallmark
Level 83 Hat
The Hound Dog (equipped)
Level 71 Hat Your opponents will be all shook up when they see these sweet shades
and coif.
Industrial Festivizer (equipped)
Level 36 Hat
Vintage Vintage Tyrolean (equipped)
Level 52 Hat
Familiar Fez
Level 34 Hat Crafted by Fertile Ape
Triboniophorus Tyrannus
Level 37 Hat At least he's still telling you to burn things. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Détective Noir (equipped)
Level 40 Hat
The Planeswalker Helm #11747
Level 51 Hat If anyone asks, tell them the tusks qualify you for veterinary work. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Conjurer's Cowl #23699
Level 74 Hat I put on my wizard's hat. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Flamboyant Flamenco #7815
Level 10 Hat Help your enemies celebrate Day of the Dead by wearing this hat and
then killing them. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Swagman's Swatter #8522
Level 10 Hat This is the best hat. We couldn't say it if it weren't true. This
one's the best. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Bloke's Bucket Hat
Level 82 Hat Gone Snipin'. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The War Head #6516
Level 10 Hat Protect your thought-horde from dragons, sorcery, and other
make-believe dangers with this spiky lead battle-mask. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Fed-Fightin' Fedora
Level 1 Hat This hat commemorates that time you stuck it on a broom and tricked
the Feds into shooting at it for an hour while you scooted off with
all that bank money. Goes great with all those bullet wounds in your
torso from that time you pulled the same trick on much smarter Feds.
The Infernal Impaler #7753
Level 13 Hat Crafted by Fertile Ape
Prince Tavish's Crown
Level 58 Hat Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Outdoorsman
Level 10 Hat Chop wood. Eat syrup. Live in Canada. This hat lets you do it all.
Lumbricus Lid
Level 99 Hat
The Bushman's Boonie
Level 45 Hat Everybody knows that the head part of your body needs twice as much
camouflage as all the other parts. Ask anyone in the army and they'll
kill you and hide the body, because that widely-known information is
CLASSIFIED. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Otolaryngologist's Mirror
Level 27 Hat We can't pronounce it either. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Demoman's Fro
Level 85 Hat
( Not Usable in Crafting )
The Birdcage #15751
Level 10 Hat Everyone will wonder what the secret meaning of this mysterious hat
is. The secret is you're an idiot. Crafted by [FP] Tomorrowland
The Mask of the Shaman #16455
Level 10 Mask An invincibility mask made by the Ancients. It hasn't worked in a
long, long time. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Tough Stuff Muffs
Level 50 Hat Frostbite of the ears halts blood flow, and leads to tissue death,
gangrene, and infection. And nobody wants to look at your gangrenous
infected ears. Cover up those frostbitten abominations with these
stylish earmuffs.
Soldier's Slope Scopers
Level 5 Hat These extreme pro ski goggles let folks know there're be no bunny
slopes for this guy. Not with YOUR middling-to-average ski skills. No,
YOU'LL be skiing on all the intermediate slopes you can find, thank
you very much—hunting out those tasty gradual inclines.
Desert Marauder
Level 11 Hat
Hotrod
Level 37 Hat Mock the sun with streaks of flame as the UV rays bounce harmlessly
away from your eyeballs. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Ol' Snaggletooth
Level 49 Hat Crafted by Fertile Ape
Honcho's Headgear
Level 77 Hat This hat has mean written all over it.
(Note from Legal: This hat has nothing written on it.) Crafted by Fertile Ape
Antlers #5044
Level 91 Hat Give your opponents the gift of hesitation this holiday season when
they pause to think, "Is that a cute little deer, or-" KA-BLAM! Dead. Crafted by Fertile Ape
A Rather Festive Tree
Level 51 Hat Crafted by Fertile Ape
Furious Fukaamigasa
Level 69 Hat You can't tell, but he's furious.
The Lone Star #9074
Level 66 Hat You're runnin' the show in these here parts; you deserve a big hat
with a star. The size of the hat is indicative of how much of the show
you're running – which is all of it, by the way. Honestly, we really
don't know how people get respect without this hat. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Haunted Voodoo JuJu (Slight Return)
Level 71 Hat Bones: They hold your body up, keep all your meat in place, and
they're all that separates us from jellyfish. Why keep them inside,
where they can't get the acclaim they deserve? Here's to you, bones.
Haunted Crone's Dome
Level 80 Hat For hundreds of years, women have enjoyed all the perks of being a
witch (making potions, having warts, getting burned alive) while men
stood on the sidelines. No longer! Break through that haunted glass
ceiling with the Crone's Dome.
Haunted Executioner
Level 3 Hat Being an executioner is a lot more than just killing people. Sometimes
you get to torture them first. Tip: To make things interesting, why
not torture someone until they yell the secret word? (Hint: the secret
word is "Freedom".)
Haunted Wraith Wrap
Level 18 Apparel The perfect accessory for maintaining anonymity while stealing rings
from midgets.
Troublemaker's Tossle Cap
Level 50 Hat Straight outta control point. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Salty Dog #20958
Level 10 Hat Get all of a boat captain's respect without the crushing
responsibility of actually captaining a boat or the enormous amount of
ongoing maintenance a boat requires! Crafted by Fertile Ape
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Strange Part: Engineers Killed
Level 1 Adding this Strange Part to a Strange-quality weapon will enable it to
track the number of Engineers you kill with that weapon.
Server-Clearing Pain Train
Server-Clearing%s6 Makeshift Club - Kills%s5: 3527 +1 capture rate on wearer 10% bullet damage vulnerability on wearer
Server-Clearing Jarate
Server-Clearing%s6 Jar Based Karate - Sodden Victims%s5: 2581 Coated enemies take mini-crits Also handy for putting out a fire
Gore-Spattered%s6 Medi Gun - Ubers%s5: 370 (Kill Assists%s3: 1046)
"Chimpanzee Chattergun"
Face-Melting%s6 Scattergun - Kills%s5: 1058
Uncharitable Axtinguisher
Uncharitable%s6 Fire Axe - Kills%s5: 126 100% critical hit vs burning players -50% damage vs non-burning players No critical hits vs non-burning players
Uncharitable Conniver's Kunai
Uncharitable%s6 Kunai - Kills%s5: 130 Start off with low health
Kill somebody with this knife
Steal all of their health On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim. -65 max health on wearer
Sufficiently Lethal Killing Gloves of Boxing
Sufficiently Lethal%s6 Boxing Gloves - Kills%s5: 205 On Kill: 5 seconds of 100% critical chance -20% slower firing speed
Sufficiently Lethal%s6 Syringe Gun - Kills%s5: 180 On Hit: +3 health -2 health drained per second on wearer
Mildly Menacing Shortstop
Mildly Menacing%s6 Peppergun - Kills%s5: 62 Mann Co.'s latest in high attitude
break-action personal defense.
Truly Feared Quick-Fix
Truly Feared%s6 Medi Gun Prototype - Ubers%s5: 271 (Kill Assists%s3: 482) Can't overheal.
Move at the speed of any faster heal target. +40% heal rate +25% ÜberCharge rate ÜberCharge increases healing by 300% and grants immunity to movement-impairing effects
Truly Feared Rocket Launcher
Truly Feared%s6 Rocket Launcher - Kills%s5: 270
Somewhat Threatening Tribalman's Shiv
Somewhat Threatening%s6 Kukri - Kills%s5: 70 On Hit: Bleed for 6 seconds -50% damage penalty
Strange%s6 Knife - Kills%s5: 4 +30 cloak on kill -25 max health on wearer
Unremarkable Pistol
Unremarkable%s6 Pistol - Kills%s5: 22
Strange Razorback
Strange%s6 Shield - Spies Shocked%s5: 5 Blocks a single backstab attempt
Unremarkable Syringe Gun
Unremarkable%s6 Syringe Gun - Kills%s5: 13
Spectacularly Lethal Black Box
Spectacularly Lethal%s6 Rocket Launcher - Kills%s5: 322 On Hit: +15 health -25% clip size
Notably Dangerous Eyelander
Notably Dangerous%s6 Sword - Heads Taken%s5: 142 This weapon has a large melee range.
Gives increased speed and health
with every head you take. No random critical hits -25 max health on wearer
Unremarkable%s6 Revolver - Kills%s5: 16 Gives one guaranteed critical hit for each building destroyed with your sapper attached -15% damage penalty No random critical hits
Uncharitable Tomislav
Uncharitable%s6 Minigun - Kills%s5: 109 10% faster spin up time Silent Killer: No barrel spin sound -20% slower firing speed
Mildly Menacing Reserve Shooter
Mildly Menacing%s6 Shotgun - Kills%s5: 57 Mini-crits airborne targets for 3 seconds after being deployed 15% faster weapon switch -50% clip size
Notably Dangerous Back Scratcher
Notably Dangerous%s6 Garden Rake - Kills%s5: 160 +25% damage bonus +50% health from packs on wearer -75% health from healers on wearer
Unremarkable Market Gardener
Unremarkable%s6 Shovel - Kills%s5: 23 Deals crits while the wielder is rocket jumping No random critical hits
Mildly Menacing Boston Basher
Mildly Menacing%s6 Bat - Kills%s5: 50 On Hit: Bleed for 5 seconds On Miss: Hit yourself. Idiot.
Strange SMG
Strange%s6 SMG - Kills%s5: 0
Scarcely Lethal Overdose
Scarcely Lethal%s6 Syringe Gun Prototype - Kills%s5: 30 Movement speed increases based on ÜberCharge percentage to a maximum
of +10% -10% damage penalty
Sufficiently Lethal Sydney Sleeper
Sufficiently Lethal%s6 Sniper Rifle - Kills%s5: 215 On Hit: Jarate applied to target for 8 seconds +25% charge rate No headshots No random critical hits
Mildly Menacing Escape Plan
Mildly Menacing%s6 Pickaxe - Kills%s5: 59 Move speed increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
Somewhat Threatening Bottle
Somewhat Threatening%s6 Bottle - Kills%s5: 79
Strange Persian Persuader
Strange%s6 Sword - Kills%s5: 2 +100% increase in charge recharge rate All ammo collected becomes health No random critical hits
Unremarkable Equalizer
Unremarkable%s6 Pickaxe - Kills%s5: 23 Damage increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
Scarcely Lethal Rainblower
Scarcely Lethal%s6 Flame Thrower - Kills%s5: 30 Your friends (enemies) will squeal with delight (be consumed with
fire) when you cover them in sparkly rainbows (all-consuming fire).
(Equips Pyrovision.) vision opt in flags (1) On Equip: Visit Pyroland Only visible in Pyroland
Sufficiently Lethal Festive Frontier Justice
Sufficiently Lethal%s6 Shotgun - Kills%s5: 178 When your sentry is destroyed you gain revenge crits for every sentry kill No random critical hits -50% clip size
Notably Dangerous%s6 Battle Banner - Banners Deployed%s5: 173 Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.
Scarcely Lethal Force-A-Nature
Scarcely Lethal%s6 Scattergun - Kills%s5: 25 Knockback on the target and shooter +50% faster firing speed +20% bullets per shot -10% damage penalty -66% clip size
Strange Sniper Rifle
Strange%s6 Sniper Rifle - Kills%s5: 1
Unremarkable Wrap Assassin
Unremarkable%s6 Bat - Kills%s5: 10 These lovely festive ornaments are so beautifully crafted, your
enemies are going to want to see them close up. Indulge them by
batting those fragile glass bulbs into their eyes at 90 mph. Alt-Fire: Launches a festive ornament that shatters causing bleed -70% damage penalty
Strange Flame Thrower
Strange%s6 Flame Thrower - Kills%s5: 2
Mildly Menacing Fire Axe
Mildly Menacing%s6 Fire Axe - Kills%s5: 57
Unremarkable Baby Face's Blaster
Unremarkable%s6 Scattergun - Kills%s5: 19 40% more accurate On Hit: Builds Boost Run at up to double speed at maximum Boost -30% damage penalty 35% slower move speed on wearer Boost resets on jump
Scarcely Lethal Neon Annihilator
Scarcely Lethal%s6 Sign - Kills%s5: 25 100% critical hit vs wet players Damage removes Sappers -20% damage vs players No random critical hits
Strange Homewrecker
Strange%s6 Sledgehammer - Kills%s5: 0 100% damage vs buildings Damage removes Sappers -25% damage vs players
Haunted Coffin Kit
Level 95 Backpack Unlike other survival packs, this handy last-aid kit rightly assumes
that the moment you're in a survival situation, you are going to die.
Just pull the ripcord to inflate the minature coffin into a standard
corpse-sized one that you can die right into.
"Fertile Ghost"
Level 20 Ghost
Take a hike, dogs--there's a new Man's Best Friend on the market. Your
pet ghost is guaranteed to be loyal (he's dead! He doesn't know
anybody else!), great around children (he used to be one!), and
house-trained (ghosts don't poop).
The Cremator's Conscience #9398
Level 15 Conscience 'Burn him with fire!' 'No, burn him with fire, then hit him with an
axe!' Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Fast Learner
Level 17 Shirt Read a book – or at least look like you can – with this vintage
educational ensemble. Be the B.M.O.C. (Big Mouth on Campus) of your
own make-believe Ivy League!
( Not Usable in Crafting )
The Surgeon's Stethoscope #7261
Level 20 Stethoscope Look like you know what you're doing when you pronounce people dead. Crafted by Fertile Ape
( Not Tradable )
The Bearded Bombardier #3065
Level 43 Facial Hair Demo is already a lot like Santa Claus. They both have extensive
knowledge of modern explosives, they both hate Judy Garland, and now,
they can both sport a charming beard and corn cob pipe. Effect: Genteel Smoke Crafted by DivideByZero™
The Builder's Blueprints #7867
Level 15 Blueprints Never bring a gun to a blueprint fight. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Villain's Veil
Level 9 Hat The good, the bad, and the dead.
The Ornament Armament #6097
Level 20 Decorative Bombs Just a like the Soldier's actual grenades, these shiny glass baubles
are purely ornamental. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Business Casual
Level 85 Shirt It's casual business up front, and more casual business in the back.
Now: check those sides. Yep. It's casual business there too. Cover all
the casual business bases with this unbuttoned suit jacket.
Dillinger's Duffel
Level 95 Backpack This duffel comes with leather straps so all your money doesn't fall
out. The leather straps also don't tighten all the way, so some money
WILL fall out, and ladies will know how rich you are. (Answer: Very.
Also handsome.)
The Apparatchik's Apparel
Level 99 Shirt Toting around a 150-kilogram minigun gives those forearm muscles a
nice workout. Show them off with these rolled-sleeved shirts, in your
choice of argyle, lumberjack, rugby stripe or vertical pinstripe.
Le Party Phantom
Level 85 Hat
Lord Cockswain's Novelty Mutton Chops and Pipe
Level 99 Facial Hair Effect: Genteel Smoke
( Not Usable in Crafting )
The Idea Tube
Level 80 Backpack This handsome leather cylinder improves on the diary in every way. Do
you have secret thoughts? Write 'em down, ball 'em up, and stuff 'em
in the tube. It's incredibly easy to find a thought when you need it,
too. Simply empty out the tube and there they all are. You're just one
simple unballing away from remembering it.
The Big Steel Jaw of Summer Fun
Level 70 Hat Wee! It's summer! We're having fun!
AH GOD IT'S BOLTED TO HIS HEAD!
Whiskered Gentleman
Level 37 Facial Hair The most distinguished tape-on fire-retardant facial hair available,
for the discerning gentleman of conflagration. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Merc's Muffler
Level 31 Scarf The perfect winter accessory for those times when your holiday fun
escalates into a high-casualty firefight. 90% more blood-absorbent
than any other scarf on the market!
The Infernal Orchestrina
Level 72 Backpack Your BFFs (enemies) will turn their frowns upside down (confront their
own mortality) as they dance a merry jig to (run in terror from) these
cheery tunes (soul-destroying funeral dirges). (Equips Pyrovision.) vision opt in flags (1) On Equip: Visit Pyroland taunt success sound (2) Only visible in Pyroland
( Not Usable in Crafting )
The Digit Divulger
Level 18 Gloves Keep your hands warm and your fingers freezing with these paintable
leather and suede fingerless gloves.
The Cut Throat Concierge
Level 39 Shirt Trick your enemies into thinking you are the doorman at a classy
hotel. By the time they get wise, you'll be miles away with their car
and luggage, rummaging through their clothes and laughing at them.
"Fertile Balloonicorn"
Level 20 Balloon Oh my goodness! Is it Balloonicorn? The Mayor of Pyroland? Don't be
ridiculous, we're talking about an inflatable unicorn. He's the
Municipal Ombudsman. Between you and me, Balloonicorn's a joke down at
City Hall. Gary Brottman, the inflatable Sewer Superintendent, is
sleeping with Balloonicorn's wife. Anyway, when he's riding around on
your shoulder don't mention ANY of this to him, because Balloonicorn
is on a hair trigger and he's usually pretty drunk. vision opt in flags (1) On Equip: Visit Pyroland Only visible in Pyroland
"Fertile Owl"
Level 14 If owls are so smart, why did this one let you glue it to your
shoulder? Come to think of it, neither one of you is looking like a
super-genius on this one.
( Not Usable in Crafting )
"Fertile Bird"
Level 13 This shoulder-mounted feathered friend comes in any color you like,
and is so full of whiskey it couldn't fly off if it wanted to. Great
to have around if you decide to eat it—just turn your head and bite!
Der Wintermantel
Level 40 Apparel This fur-lined coat/sweater combo comes with Mann Co.'s guarantee
that, as with all of our products, at least three endangered species
went extinct during the making of this product. Note: fur is
synthetic.
The Sneaky Spats of Sneaking #13046
Level 31 Shoes Sure, you're in the market for shoes to help you lurk in the shadows.
But once you slip on these natty calf leather spatterdashes, you'll
want EVERYONE to check you out. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Teufort Tooth Kicker #9194
Level 10 Boots These steel-toed dogs were scientifically engineered (in a wind
tunnel) by America's foremost authorities on mouth-kicking to
perfectly fit the inside of an idiot's mouth. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Planeswalker Goggles #23137
Level 77 Hat No more bugs in your eyes as you blaze across the map. Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Steel Songbird #1356
Level 10 It gets pretty quiet in that sniper's nest. Why not treat yourself to
the haunting rhythmic symphony of bolts being constantly pooped by
this mute, easily terrified incontinent bird? Crafted by Fertile Ape
Buck Turner All-Stars #2526
Level 86 Shoes Named after the famous Badlands sprinter who set a land speed record
for sleeping with other men's wives. Turner designed the shoes to
escape angry mobs of husbands, but sadly could not outrun diabetes.
Both his feet were later amputated. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Ze Goggles
Level 28 Glasses Nothing Crafted by Fertile Ape
Flair! #20368
Level 20 Flair! Show enthusiasm! For your favorite things!
Custom decals can be applied to this item. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Genuine King of Scotland Cape
Level 1 Cape Capes are worn by only the most prestigious individuals. Kings.
Dracula. Teenagers pretending they're wizards. Now you can join their
illustrious ranks with this King of Scotland Cape. Wear it with pride,
and make those prepubescents proud.
Genuine Pip-Boy
Level 10 Armband Using modern super-deluxe resolution graphics!
Genuine Foppish Physician
Level 1 Apparel Whether you're trepanning a skull to let out the sickness ghosts or
attaching enough leeches to a patient that they'll pass out from blood
loss before you cut off any suspicious-looking limbs, this dapper
ruffed shirt and coat will assure your patients that they came to the
right place for their dangerously insane 18th century medicine.
Genuine Distinguished Rogue
Level 1 Apparel This coat does so much of the heavy lifting to make you look like a
sophisticated man of espionage, you won't need to wear anything else
at all. Watch those heads turn the next time you attend a fancy gala
completely nude except for a coat. So jealous. How about that guy
calling the police? Is HE jealous? Yeah he is.
The Noh Mercy
Level 58 Hat Chain-smoking Frenchman
Skulks in shadows, then attacks
Terrifying mask
Sight for Sore Eyes
Level 93 Hat Humorously vellicating vitreous. Crafted by Fertile Ape
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Erlend
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: McWolfgang
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
The Vintage Blutsauger
Level 5 Syringe Gun On Hit: +3 health -2 health drained per second on wearer
Level 5 Laser Pointer Take manual control of your Sentry Gun
"STOP RIGHT THEY'RE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" (equipped)
Level 5 Minigun On Hit: 100% chance to slow target -25% damage penalty 30% slower spin up time
The Vintage Eyelander
Level 5 Sword This weapon has a large melee range.
Gives increased speed and health
with every head you take. No random critical hits -25 max health on wearer
The Vintage Axtinguisher
Level 10 Fire Axe 100% critical hit vs burning players -50% damage vs non-burning players No critical hits vs non-burning players
The Vintage Sandvich (equipped)
Level 1 Lunch Box
The Vintage Force-A-Nature
Level 10 Scattergun Knockback on the target and shooter +50% faster firing speed +20% bullets per shot -10% damage penalty -66% clip size
The Vintage Sandman (equipped)
Level 15 Bat Alt-Fire: Launches a ball that stuns opponents -15 max health on wearer
Level 10 Pickaxe Damage increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
The Vintage Gunboats (equipped)
Level 10 Boots -60% blast damage from rocket jumps
The Vintage Buff Banner
Level 5 Battle Banner Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.
The Vintage Escape Plan
Level 10 Pickaxe Move speed increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
The Phlogistinator
Level 10 Flame Thrower Being a revolutionary appliance capable of awakening the fire element
phlogiston that exists in all combustible creatures, which is to say,
all of them. All fire damage charges 'Mmmph', activate to refill health and crit for several seconds -10% damage penalty No airblast No random critical hits
The Rocket Jumper
Level 1 Rocket Launcher A special no-damage rocket launcher for learning
rocket jump tricks and patterns. No self inflicted blast damage taken +200% max primary ammo on wearer -100% damage penalty No random critical hits Wearer cannot carry the intelligence briefcase
The Spy-cicle
Level 1 Knife It's the perfect gift for the man who has everything: an icicle driven
into their back. Even rich people can't buy that in stores. Silent Killer: No attack noise from backstabs On Hit by Fire: Become fireproof for 2 seconds Backstab turns victim to ice Melts in fire, regenerates after 15 seconds
Level 5 Kukri 25% increase in damage when health <50% of max -25% decrease in damage when health >50% of max
The Third Degree
Level 10 Fire Axe Being a boon to tree-fellers, backwoodsmen and atom-splitters the
world over, this miraculous matter-hewing device burns each individual
molecule as it cleaves it. All players connected via Medigun beams are hit
Gift from: Dofetch'd is Offline
"Bonobo Bone Bat"
Level 5
The Jag
Level 15 Wrench 30% faster construction rate -25% damage penalty
The Powerjack
Level 5 Sledgehammer +75 health restored on kill +20% damage from melee sources while active
L'Etranger
Level 5 Revolver +15 cloak on hit -20% damage penalty
The Holiday Punch
Level 10 Fists Be the life of the war party with these laugh-inducing punch-mittens. Critical hit forces victim to laugh Always critical hit from behind On Hit: Force enemies to laugh who are also wearing this item Critical hits do no damage
The Battalion's Backup
Level 10 Battle Banner Provides a defensive buff that protects
nearby team members from crits
and blocks 35% of incoming damage.
Rage increases through damage taken.
Your Eternal Reward
Level 1 Knife Upon a successful backstab against a human target, you rapidly disguise as your victim Silent Killer: No attack noise from backstabs Wearer cannot disguise
The Pomson 6000
Level 10 Indivisible Particle Smasher Being an innovative hand-held irradiating utensil capable of producing
rapid pulses of high-amplitude radiation in sufficient quantity as to
immolate, maim and otherwise incapacitate the Irish. Does not require ammo Projectile cannot be deflected On Hit: Victim loses 10% Medigun charge On Hit: Victim loses 20% cloak
The Ullapool Caber
Level 10 Stick Bomb High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it... No random critical hits
The Fan O'War
Level 5 Gunbai Winds of Gravel Pit
Scout brings on his fan!
You are marked for death On Hit: One target at a time is marked for death, causing all damage taken to be mini-crits -90% damage penalty
The Half-Zatoichi
Level 5 Katana Soldiers and Demos
Can duel with katanas
For a one-hit kill On Kill: Restores you to 100% health Honorbound: Once drawn cannot be sheathed until it kills.
The Loose Cannon
Level 10 Grenade Launcher override projectile type (17) Cannonballs push players back on impact Cannonballs have a fuse time of 2 seconds; fuses can be primed to explode earlier by holding down the fire key. Cannonballs do not explode on impact -50% damage on contact with surfaces
The Vaccinator
Level 8 Vaccinator ÜberCharge provides 75% resistance to a selected damage type. You are
healed for 25% of the matched incoming damage on your heal target. +50% ÜberCharge rate Special-Attack: Cycle through resist types. While healing, provides you and your target with a constant 10% resistance to the selected damage type. -66% Overheal build rate.
The Cozy Camper
Level 10 Backpack +1 health regenerated per second on wearer Knockback reduced by 20% when aiming No flinching when aiming -80% slower move speed when aiming
The Scottish Resistance (equipped)
Level 5 Stickybomb Launcher +25% faster firing speed Detonates stickybombs near the crosshair and directly under your feet Able to destroy enemy stickybombs +50% max secondary ammo on wearer +6 max pipebombs out 0.8 sec slower bomb arm time
The Fists of Steel
Level 10 Boxing Gloves -40% damage from ranged sources while active +100% damage from melee sources while active 20% longer weapon switch
The Winger
Level 15 Pistol +15% damage bonus -60% clip size
The Warrior's Spirit
Level 10 Boxing Gloves +30% damage bonus -20 max health on wearer
The Candy Cane
Level 25 Bat On Kill: A small health pack is dropped 25% explosive damage vulnerability on wearer
Level 10 Flare Gun Flare knocks back target on hit and ignites enemies in a small radius -50% damage penalty
The Hitman's Heatmaker
Level 1 Sniper Rifle
Heads will roll. Gain Focus on kills and assists rage on assists (15) Focus activates on Fire when Focus meter is full In Focus: +25% faster charge and no unscoping -20% damage on body shot
The Flying Guillotine
Level 40 Cleaver Throw at your enemies to make them bleed! Long distance hits cause mini-crits 100% critical hit vs stunned players No random critical hits
The Solemn Vow (equipped)
Level 10 Bust of Hippocrates 'Do no harm.' Allows you to see enemy health
The Sticky Jumper
Level 1 Stickybomb Launcher A special no-damage stickybomb launcher for learning stickybomb jump
tricks and patterns. No self inflicted blast damage taken +200% max secondary ammo on wearer override projectile type (14) -100% damage penalty No random critical hits Wearer cannot carry the intelligence briefcase
( Not Usable in Crafting )
Crit-a-Cola
Level 5 Lunch Box While under the effects, +25% movement speed and damage done and
damage taken will be mini-crits.
The Red-Tape Recorder
Level 6 Sapper Reverses enemy building construction -100% sapper damage penalty
The Righteous Bison
Level 30 Indivisible Particle Smasher Does not require ammo Projectile penetrates enemy targets Projectile cannot be deflected Deals only 20% damage to buildings
The Cow Mangler 5000
Level 30 Focused Wave Projector Does not require ammo Alt-Fire: A charged shot that mini-crits players and disables buildings for 4 sec No random critical hits Deals only 20% damage to buildings -10% damage penalty Cannot be crit boosted 5% slower reload time
The Amputator
Level 15 Bonesaw On Taunt: Applies a healing effect to all nearby teammates
The Widowmaker
Level 5 Shotgun No reload necessary On Hit: damage dealt is returned as ammo Per Shot: -30 ammo Uses metal for ammo
The Enforcer
Level 5 Revolver +20% damage bonus while undisguised No random critical hits -20% slower firing speed
The Huo-Long Heater
Level 81 Minigun Sustains a ring of flames while deployed 6 ammo consumed per second while deployed
Level 10 Scattergun Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash
mini-crits! 25% faster reload time +50% faster firing speed -66% clip size No random critical hits
( Not Usable in Crafting )
The Bazaar Bargain
Level 10 Sniper Rifle Each scoped headshot decreases the weapon's charge time.
A scoped body shot or miss reduces the bonus.
Base charge rate decreased by 20%
The Dalokohs Bar
Level 1 Lunch Box Adds +50 max health for 30 seconds
Darwin's Danger Shield
Level 10 Shield +25 max health on wearer
Crusader's Crossbow
Level 15 Crossbow Fires special bolts that heal teammates and deal damage based on distance traveled 40% faster reload time No headshots -75% max primary ammo on wearer
The Buffalo Steak Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box While under the effects, move speed is increased,
damage done and taken will be mini-crits,
and the player may only use melee weapons.
Who needs bread?
The Cleaner's Carbine
Level 1 SMG On Kill: 3 seconds of 100% critical chance -35% slower firing speed -20% clip size No random critical hits
The Original
Level 5 Rocket Launcher
The Postal Pummeler
Level 10 Mailbox 100% critical hit vs burning players -50% damage vs non-burning players No critical hits vs non-burning players
The Concheror
Level 5 Sashimono With buff, some damage
Dished out by nearby teammates
Comes back as healing
The Machina
Level 5 Sniper Rifle On Full Charge: Projectiles penetrate players On Full Charge: +15% damage per shot Cannot fire unless zoomed Fires tracer rounds
The Short Circuit
Level 5 Robot Arm On Fire: Generates an electrical field that destroys projectiles and does slight damage to players No reload necessary Per Shot: -35 ammo Uses metal for ammo No random critical hits
The Sun-on-a-Stick
Level 10 RIFT Fire Mace Spiky end goes into other man. 100% critical hit vs burning players -25% damage penalty
The Mantreads
Level 10 Boots -75% reduction in push force taken from damage Deals 3x falling damage to the player you land on
Ali Baba's Wee Booties
Level 10 Boots +100% increase in turning control while charging +25 max health on wearer
The Beggar's Bazooka
Level 25 Rocket Launcher Hold Fire to load up to three rockets Release Fire to unleash the barrage Overloading the chamber will cause a misfire +3 degrees random projectile deviation Cannot collect ammo from dispensers
The Atomizer
Level 10 Bat Grants Triple Jump: The third jump deals 10 damage when used -30% slower firing speed -20% damage vs players
Nessie's Nine Iron
Level 5 Golf Club No random critical hits -25 max health on wearer
The Bootlegger
Level 10 Boots Amaze your friends! Impress women! Walk with a limp for life! It's
grotesque! +100% increase in turning control while charging +25 max health on wearer
Gloves of Running Urgently
Level 10 Boxing Gloves +30% faster move speed on wearer You are marked for death while active, and for short period after switching weapons When weapon is active: -25% damage penalty
"The Ape Escape"
Level 10 Shield Can deal charge impact damage at any range +70% increase in charge impact damage +20% fire damage resistance on wearer +15% explosive damage resistance on wearer
The Manmelter
Level 30 Indivisible Particle Smasher Being a device that flouts conventional scientific consensus that the
molecules composing the human body must be arranged "just so", and
not, for example, across a square-mile radius. Does not require ammo +50% projectile speed Alt-Fire: Extinguish teammates to gain guaranteed critical hits No random critical hits
Gift from: Weirdpixels
The AWPer Hand #19378
Level 1 Sniper Rifle This controversial bolt-action beaut is banned in thousands of
countries, and with good reason: You could really hurt someone with
this thing.
Sharpened Volcano Fragment
Level 10 RIFT Fire Axe Improves upon Mother Nature's original
design for volcanos by increasing portability.
Modern science is unable to explain exactly
where the lava is coming from. On Hit: target is engulfed in flames -20% damage penalty
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
The Festive Holy Mackerel
Level 42 Fish Getting hit by a fish has got to be humiliating.
The Festive Axtinguisher
Level 10 Fire Axe 100% critical hit vs burning players -50% damage vs non-burning players No critical hits vs non-burning players
The Festive Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box
The Festive Huntsman
Level 10 Bow override projectile type (19)
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Mann Co. Cap
Level 10 Hat
( Not Tradable, Not Usable in Crafting )
Horseless Headless Horsemann's Head
Level 31 Hat
He had one all along...
( Not Tradable )
Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask
Level 10 Holiday Hat
Brown paper never looked so mildly disturbing.
( Not Tradable )
The Legend of Bugfoot
Level 89 Costume Piece
This is a special Halloween 2011 item
The Seal Mask
Level 31 Mask
Turn routine melee attacks into environmental hate crimes with this
adorable mask.
( Not Tradable )
The MONOCULUS!
Level 31 Hat
Celebrate the Demo's most serious childhood injury with this gruesome
mask based on his missing, haunted eye.
( Not Tradable )
Noise Maker - Winter Holiday
Level 5 Party Favor
Unlimited use
Bronze Dueling Badge
Level 1 Badge This badge tracks your duel statistics.
Increase its level by winning duels!
( Not Tradable )
Mercenary
Level 5 Badge Even though you were late to the party, you were still the life of it. Hire Date: December 25, 2008 (15:02:24 GMT)
( Not Tradable )
Dealer's Visor
Level 50 Hat Do not try to bluff Sasha.
The Baseline Benefactor's Spirit Of Giving
The Baseline Benefactor's%s6 Badge - Gifts Given%s5: 1 The more gifts you give away, the bigger your heart will get! Get what
gift-givers call "the Smissmas spirit," and what cardiologists call
hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
( Not Tradable )
Vintage Pyrovision Goggles
Level 6 Pyrovision Goggles Enter a world of imagination that's far superior to the crap-ass
worlds of imagination you get from books. Pyrovision lets you see the
TF2niverse from our favorite arsonist's perspective. vision opt in flags (1) On Equip: Visit Pyroland Witnessed the 2012 inferno
Pyrovision Goggles
Level 83 Pyrovision Goggles Enter a world of imagination that's far superior to the crap-ass
worlds of imagination you get from books. Pyrovision lets you see the
TF2niverse from our favorite arsonist's perspective. vision opt in flags (1) On Equip: Visit Pyroland
( Not Tradable )
Cheater's Lament
Level 1 Aura of Incorruptibility Though some would stop at nothing to achieve hats, you remained
resolute and incorruptible in your quest for head decorations. For
that, you have been rewarded. Effect: Holy Glow
( Not Tradable )
Ghastlierest Gibus
Level 10 Hat Way way more ghastly. This is a special Halloween 2009 item
The Skull Island Topper
Level 31 Hat This terrifying (innocuous) witching cap was found by the all-powerful
(mediocre) wizard Merasmus in the depths of the Hades Spiral (right
near the entrance of the Hades Spiral). Killed Merasmus at level 2
( Not Tradable )
The Bombinomicon
Level 20 Badge 'If ye gaze upon one tome-themed badge this year, MAKE IT NOT THIS
ONE!' - Merasmus the Magician' Explode spectacularly on death
( Not Tradable )
The Lugermorph
Level 5 Pistol The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?
( Not Tradable )
Iron Curtain
Level 5 Minigun
( Not Tradable )
The Enthusiast's Timepiece
Level 5 Invis Watch
( Not Tradable )
Power Up Canteen
Level 67 Usable Item Applies a bonus effect for a limited amount of time when used. Must
first be filled at an Upgrade Station and can only be filled with one
bonus type at a time. Currently holds 0 charges Holds a maximum of 3 charges Each charge lasts 5 seconds
( Not Tradable )
Voodoo-Cursed Scout Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Soldier Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Pyro Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Demoman Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Heavy Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Engineer Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Sniper Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Medic Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
Voodoo-Cursed Spy Soul
Level 1 Cursed Soul
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Haunted Master Mind
Level 46 Hat
Science fact: the human brain is 70% more effective when exposed to
oxygen. Fashion fact: the human brain is 90% cooler-looking when you
glue lots of Radio Shack stuff to it. Finally, an item that
capitalizes on both.
The Unknown Monkeynaut
Level 20 Ghost
Have an actual ghost of Mann Co.'s first doomed monkeynaut expedition
haunt your shoulder! Unlike the many other doomed monkeynaut
expeditions undertaken by Mann Co., Operation Banana Catapult was
unique in that no space shuttles were even used.
( Not Usable in Crafting )
Haunted Grand Duchess Tutu
Level 83 Apparel
Celebrate the life of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna with this
somber historical costume. Enjoy this replica of the tutu she wore
while governing Russia from atop her hundred-foot-tall gumdrop throne.
Haunted Grand Duchess Tiara
Level 78 Hat
Celebrate the life of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna with this
somber historical costume. Enjoy this replica of the tiara she wore
while governing Russia from atop her hundred-foot-tall gumdrop throne.
Haunted Grand Duchess Fairy Wings
Level 6 Apparel
Celebrate the life of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna with this
somber historical costume. Enjoy this replica of the fairy wings she
wore while governing Russia from atop her hundred-foot-tall gumdrop
throne.
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Harry[Hy]
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: oGuk
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: xXMalvaXx
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: |Hap Warrior| Little Poney
The Bloodhound
Level 66 Hat Experience the vicarious thrill of the tough-talking, dame-seducing
gumshoe by reading the collected works of Raymond Chandler. Then take
a break from all that and try on this novelty-sized cartoon dog hat.
( Not Tradable )
License to Maim
Level 20 Badge And kill, and break, and smash, and bite. Mainly maim, though.
( Not Tradable )
Dangeresque, Too?
Level 20 Glasses Splash the pot with all you got.
( Not Tradable )
The Festive Huntsman
Level 10 Bow override projectile type (19)
The Festive Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box
The Festive Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box
Festive Grenade Launcher
Level 1 Grenade Launcher
The Festive Buff Banner
Level 5 Battle Banner Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.
The Festive Buff Banner
Level 5 Battle Banner Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.
Festive Frontier Justice
Level 5 Shotgun When your sentry is destroyed you gain revenge crits for every sentry kill No random critical hits -50% clip size
Festive Frontier Justice
Level 5 Shotgun When your sentry is destroyed you gain revenge crits for every sentry kill No random critical hits -50% clip size
Festive Frontier Justice
Level 5 Shotgun When your sentry is destroyed you gain revenge crits for every sentry kill No random critical hits -50% clip size
Festive Frontier Justice
Level 5 Shotgun When your sentry is destroyed you gain revenge crits for every sentry kill No random critical hits -50% clip size
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Ulrich Von 3Cat™
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Sharktopus
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Area 451 #8041
Level 86 Hat If aliens ever invaded Badlands and used their special alien powers to
make all of our heads look like alien heads, this is a scientifically
accurate representation of what Pyro would look like. We tried doing
similar mock-ups with the rest of the TF team, but we finished one of
Heavy and haven't stopped crying and vomiting long enough to do the
other ones. Crafted by Fertile Ape
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
The Filamental
Level 77 Hat Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only
your electrician knows for sure!
Taunt: The High Five!
Level 5 Special Taunt Don't leave your friends hanging.
This is a press-and-hold taunt. Hold down the action slot key to
remain in the taunt's pose.
Blind Justice #2357
Level 14 Facial Hair Want to command respect from people standing at an indeterminate
distance from your immediate right? Bolt on a platinum Pinkerton badge
and experience the thrill for yourself! Crafted by Fertile Ape
The Force-A-Nature
Level 10 Scattergun Knockback on the target and shooter +50% faster firing speed +20% bullets per shot -10% damage penalty -66% clip size
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
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The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: [FoG] Rainbow Dash # Mafioso
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: [無駄] Jackal Queenston
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: SirDrone
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Primrose~
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Sverath
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: [SR] Crypto5107
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Real Ratz |RAWR
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: bl4st
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Celadon
The Bunsen Brave
Level 87 Hat Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction
of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native
Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame
temperature of 3100 °C.
Tyrantium Helmet
Level 69 Hat This hat kicks your ass so hard you'll fly into an alternate dimension
where Vikings are robots. Deal with it!
The Bolted Birdcage
Level 8 Hat You love the hard-hitting Robin Williams/Nathan Lane bird prison drama
"The Birdcage" so much you wish you could be thinking about it all the
time. The problem: Life’s many distractions. The solution: This.
Firewall Helmet
Level 98 Hat Learn the secret that firefighters guard fiercely: There is no better
hat to wear while entering a burning building than a metal hat. Why?
The metal will absorb 100%% of the heat, leaving your bare skin cool
and refreshed, probably.
The Gunslinger
Level 15 Robot Arm +25 max health on wearer Replaces the Sentry with a fast building Mini-Sentry No random critical hits
Letch's LED
Level 62 Hat Comes with x-ray specs that let you see through people's clothes while
alerting them with a siren and shouted warnings that you're doing it.
Great for prison aficionados who want to go to jail but don't know
how.
The Mantreads
Level 10 Boots -75% reduction in push force taken from damage Deals 3x falling damage to the player you land on
The Vita-Saw
Level 5 Bonesaw On death up to 20% of your stored ÜberCharge is retained -10 max health on wearer
The Big Elfin Deal #19799
Level 49 Hat You ask me if I wanna be a dentist one more time, pal, I'm gonna kick
your teeth in. Crafted by Fertile Ape
Battery Canteens
Level 58 Usable Item Don't let the name fool you: These aren't actual battery canteens
capable of converting stored chemical energy into electrical energy.
They're just regular canteens that look identical to your water
canteen and are filled with battery acid. Currently holds 0 charges Holds a maximum of 3 charges Each charge lasts 5 seconds
The Dual-Core Devil Doll
Level 97 Pocket Buddy These pint-sized pain proxies combine the erotic mysticism of Haitian
voodoo with the stultifying boredom of math.
The FR-0
Level 34 Hat Own this one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia from the classic ‘70s
film "Blaxton Hale vs. Black HAL 9000".
Modest Metal Pile of Scrap
Level 56 Hat This humble hat pile of one tells the world that there are more
important things in life than money. Like for instance not having any.
The Boston Boom-Bringer
Level 41 Futuristic Sound Device Walkin' down the street to the hardcore beat while his Mann Co. boom
vibrates the concrete. taunt success sound (1) Crafted by Fertile Ape
Respectless Robo-Glove
Level 6 Hat When that robot selflessly gave you its hand, it assumed you’d study
it to advance the field of prosthetic medicine. Sucker. Hey, everybody
check me out! I’m a metal chicken! Beep beep gobble boop!
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
The Scorch Shot
Level 10 Flare Gun Flare knocks back target on hit and ignites enemies in a small radius -50% damage penalty
The Fists of Steel
Level 10 Boxing Gloves -40% damage from ranged sources while active +100% damage from melee sources while active 20% longer weapon switch
The Buffalo Steak Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box While under the effects, move speed is increased,
damage done and taken will be mini-crits,
and the player may only use melee weapons.
Who needs bread?
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Letch's LED
Level 12 Hat Comes with x-ray specs that let you see through people's clothes while
alerting them with a siren and shouted warnings that you're doing it.
Great for prison aficionados who want to go to jail but don't know
how.
The Bunsen Brave
Level 7 Hat Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction
of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native
Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame
temperature of 3100 °C.
Practitioner’s Processing Mask
Level 79 Fact: 70%% of the air you breathe was recently in someone’s butt.
This handy contraption runs the farty air you live in through a
gauntlet of soapy water and potpourri before entering your body.
Teddy Robobelt
Level 67 Pocket Buddy This tiny robotic bear used to be the President. Now he lives in your
pocket. How could the mighty have fallen so far? [makes drinking
gesture] Glug glug wink wink.
The Dual-Core Devil Doll
Level 19 Pocket Buddy These pint-sized pain proxies combine the erotic mysticism of Haitian
voodoo with the stultifying boredom of math.
Ye Oiled Baker Boy
Level 13 Hat It's as if this hat fell off the tiny metal head of a dirt-stained
urchinbot selling robonewspapers in 1899 Mecha-London, rolled through
a time tunnel and into your modern backpack.
The Virus Doctor
Level 75 Hat Whether you’re a 17th century plague doctor, a professional
wrestler, or a waiter at a plague-themed family restaurant, this hat
lets you look the part while delivering last rites, a Tombstone
Piledriver and/or plate after plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeño
poppers.
The Bolt Boy
Level 78 Hat That item was originally a make-believe superhero accessory tie-in to
an imaginary soft drink enjoyed by a fictional character. Now it's
also made of metal. There are so many layers of abstraction going on
here even we don't know what to make of it.
The Galvanized Gibus
Level 32 Hat Elegant simplicity and old-world charm combine with the intoxicating
aromas of methyl alcohol and gasoline. Do not wear in unventilated
areas.
Mecha-Medes
Level 13 Mecha-Medes first appeared in Archimedes’ Flights of Fantasy #314
when Archimedes accidentally fell off a table into a parallel world,
met his robot double, ate some seeds, squawked in terror at a
half-buried Statue of Liberty, then flew into a patio door.
The Scrap Sack
Level 40 Backpack Concerned about your many stalkers going through your garbage while
you’re at work? Rest easy with the Scrap Sack, which lets you keep
an eye on your secret-filled trash at all times.
Respectless Robo-Glove
Level 79 Hat When that robot selflessly gave you its hand, it assumed you’d study
it to advance the field of prosthetic medicine. Sucker. Hey, everybody
check me out! I’m a metal chicken! Beep beep gobble boop!
Practitioner’s Processing Mask
Level 100 Fact: 70%% of the air you breathe was recently in someone’s butt.
This handy contraption runs the farty air you live in through a
gauntlet of soapy water and potpourri before entering your body.
The Scrap Sack
Level 63 Backpack Concerned about your many stalkers going through your garbage while
you’re at work? Rest easy with the Scrap Sack, which lets you keep
an eye on your secret-filled trash at all times.
Ye Oiled Baker Boy
Level 52 Hat It's as if this hat fell off the tiny metal head of a dirt-stained
urchinbot selling robonewspapers in 1899 Mecha-London, rolled through
a time tunnel and into your modern backpack.
The Byte’d Beak
Level 20 Hat This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day
masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for
dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
Battery Canteens
Level 32 Usable Item Don't let the name fool you: These aren't actual battery canteens
capable of converting stored chemical energy into electrical energy.
They're just regular canteens that look identical to your water
canteen and are filled with battery acid. Currently holds 0 charges Holds a maximum of 3 charges Each charge lasts 5 seconds
The Virus Doctor
Level 46 Hat Whether you’re a 17th century plague doctor, a professional
wrestler, or a waiter at a plague-themed family restaurant, this hat
lets you look the part while delivering last rites, a Tombstone
Piledriver and/or plate after plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeño
poppers.
The Scrumpy Strongbox
Level 79 Treasure This nitrogen-cooled liquor locker can only be opened by punching in
its constantly evolving polyalphabetic stream cipher, or with the big
metal key scotch taped to the bottom.
The Megapixel Beard
Level 32 Facial Hair Great for taking pictures of all the sexy make-outs you’re going to
have now that you’ve got a robot beard. If there’s anything ladies
find more irresistible, write in and tell us and we’ll bolt it onto
this perpetual make-out machine.
The Bunsen Brave
Level 31 Hat Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction
of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native
Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame
temperature of 3100 °C.
Titanium Tyrolean
Level 88 Hat Meet the robot apocalypse in style with this puckish number, perfect
for infiltrating the sentient mother computer located in the Swiss
pavilion at Epcot Center.
The Titanium Towel
Level 1 Apparel Sure, regular towels work fine for water, but what if you’re covered
in magnets? What’s your regular towel doing for you now? Watching
you slowly die of magnetism, that’s what.
Letch's LED
Level 79 Hat Comes with x-ray specs that let you see through people's clothes while
alerting them with a siren and shouted warnings that you're doing it.
Great for prison aficionados who want to go to jail but don't know
how.
The Bot Dogger
Level 89 Hat It's inevitable that robot hot dog hats will someday become the most
popular fashion accessory on the planet. And when they do, everyone
will claim they liked them "before they were cool." Thanks to the Bot
Dogger, only YOU will be able to prove it.
The HDMI Patch
Level 94 Photograph Bundled with a broad selection of eyeball-related movies ("Eyes Wide
Shut", "The Hills Have Eyes, Part II" and three more) that your
friends can enjoy from the comfort of your face.
The Bolted Bicorne
Level 86 Hat One little-known fact about parrots: They WILL peck a hole through a
human pirate skull. But they can’t peck through solid steel. And if
they try? This baby’s electrified to the tune of 10,000 volts. Your
move, parrots.
Battery Canteens
Level 55 Usable Item Don't let the name fool you: These aren't actual battery canteens
capable of converting stored chemical energy into electrical energy.
They're just regular canteens that look identical to your water
canteen and are filled with battery acid. Currently holds 0 charges Holds a maximum of 3 charges Each charge lasts 5 seconds
The Metal Slug
Level 64 Hat They came from outer space. And they came to conquer. It was the
perfect space crime. But there’s just one problem. YOU. "The Metal
Slug". Rated R. This Friday. On your HEAD.
The Filamental
Level 56 Hat Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only
your electrician knows for sure!
Platinum Pickelhaube
Level 14 Hat Invented by Nikolai Tesla in any one of his ten million appearances in
crappy steampunk fiction, probably.
The Filamental
Level 68 Hat Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only
your electrician knows for sure!
The Pure Tin Capotain
Level 59 Hat Witch-hunting: necessary, but time-consuming. What if we told you you
could burn up to five witches a day without lifting a finger?
Introducing the Pure Tin Capotain, the greatest time-saving invention
since the electric can opener.
The Dual-Core Devil Doll
Level 87 Pocket Buddy These pint-sized pain proxies combine the erotic mysticism of Haitian
voodoo with the stultifying boredom of math.
The Plug-In Prospector
Level 91 Hat Robo-future history comes alive! Pretend you’re a grizzled,
cantankerous robot prospector, drunk on teeny-tiny shots of
nano-whiskey in the Olllld Cyber-West during the Great Battery Rush of
3047.
The Bolted Bicorne
Level 91 Hat One little-known fact about parrots: They WILL peck a hole through a
human pirate skull. But they can’t peck through solid steel. And if
they try? This baby’s electrified to the tune of 10,000 volts. Your
move, parrots.
Steel Shako
Level 21 Hat Combining the sublime pageantry of Tchaikovsky’s "Nutcracker" with
the bold futurism of Tchaikovsky’s "Robot Nutcracker vs. Tarzan".
Titanium Tyrolean
Level 85 Hat Meet the robot apocalypse in style with this puckish number, perfect
for infiltrating the sentient mother computer located in the Swiss
pavilion at Epcot Center.
Shooter's Tin Topi
Level 41 Hat This safari helmet was welded together from actual blood-spattered
scraps of jeeps, rifles, shells and fillings discovered at the mauling
sites of previous safaris. Wear it as a constant reminder never to do
anything as stupid as go on safari.
Battery Canteens
Level 81 Usable Item Don't let the name fool you: These aren't actual battery canteens
capable of converting stored chemical energy into electrical energy.
They're just regular canteens that look identical to your water
canteen and are filled with battery acid. Currently holds 0 charges Holds a maximum of 3 charges Each charge lasts 5 seconds
Ye Oiled Baker Boy
Level 69 Hat It's as if this hat fell off the tiny metal head of a dirt-stained
urchinbot selling robonewspapers in 1899 Mecha-London, rolled through
a time tunnel and into your modern backpack.
The Timeless Topper
Level 3 Hat Most hats are made of felt, canvas or other non-durable cloths that
decompose after a mere 10,000 years. The Timeless Topper’s built for
the long haul, with an outer layer of scrap titanium and an inner core
of plastic bags, foam cups and disposable diapers.
The Electric Escorter
Level 32 Hat "And it seems to me you lived your life / with a lightbulb in your
head / wishing you had cleaned the hole / as the cephalic tetanus
spread." – Elton John (words by Bernie Taupin)
Teddy Robobelt
Level 19 Pocket Buddy This tiny robotic bear used to be the President. Now he lives in your
pocket. How could the mighty have fallen so far? [makes drinking
gesture] Glug glug wink wink.
Steel Shako
Level 76 Hat Combining the sublime pageantry of Tchaikovsky’s "Nutcracker" with
the bold futurism of Tchaikovsky’s "Robot Nutcracker vs. Tarzan".
The Data Mining Light
Level 18 Hat If you’re a rugged coal miner like us, you know the value of
throwing away your mining equipment and mining in the nude so people
know how tough you are. Finally there’s a version for the office
worker to not wear while nudely analyzing spreadsheets.
Pyro's Boron Beanie
Level 60 Hat Friends and loved ones will call you stupid for wearing this hat.
"Hey, moron!" your mother will say. But they won’t think it’s so
funny when you win the Backwards Swimming competition at the Olympics,
and are later stripped of your medal for cheating.
Texas Tin-Gallon
Level 45 Hat It's a historical fact that in cowboy times, cloth was hard to come
by. Creative cowpokes kept the sun out of their eyes by making hats
out of what they had in abundance: sheet-metal trees and bolt
cactuses.
The FR-0
Level 83 Hat Own this one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia from the classic ‘70s
film "Blaxton Hale vs. Black HAL 9000".
The Byte’d Beak
Level 4 Hat This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day
masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for
dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
The Filamental
Level 2 Hat Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only
your electrician knows for sure!
Soldier's Sparkplug
Level 83 Cigar Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times it is a sparkplug.
Sometimes it is a boot. The important thing is that you have something
in your mouth that is on fire. Effect: Genteel Smoke
Base Metal Billycock
Level 3 Hat Robo-impersonate your favorite fictional bowler-hatted characters,
from Batman's Riddler to Clockwork Orange's Alex to England's Winston
Churchill.
Bootleg Base Metal Billycock
Level 3 Hat Trick your friends into thinking your enormous metal hat is a smaller,
different hat. If this was actually illegal it would be the PERFECT
CRIME.
Full Metal Drill Hat
Level 74 Hat What is your major malfunction, Private Robot? You had best defrag
yourself or I will unscrew your head, access the CPU in your neck and
fix your major malfunction!
Bootleg Base Metal Billycock
Level 35 Hat Trick your friends into thinking your enormous metal hat is a smaller,
different hat. If this was actually illegal it would be the PERFECT
CRIME.
Soldered Sensei
Level 72 Hat Karate masters WANT you to think there’s no belt higher than black.
But what if we told you there was a secret metal belt ABOVE black that
lets you kick a black belt's ass all over the place? Scared black belt
guys have been trying to keep a lid on this for years.
Halogen Head Lamp
Level 45 Hat This medical marvel improves on the obsolete doctor’s head mirror by
replacing the mirror part with a 10,000 watt lamp part that can be
seen from space. Peer inside your patients’ disease-riddled ears,
noses and throats from a safe distance.
The Cyborg Stunt Helmet
Level 18 Hat If you pause that big fight scene in the classic film "Swinging Fists
of Future Hercules", you can tell that's not actually famous robot
actor Kirk RoboDouglas, but a cyborg stuntman. Support the unsung
heroes of the silver-plated screen with this limited edition stunt
helmet.
The Titanium Towel
Level 74 Apparel Sure, regular towels work fine for water, but what if you’re covered
in magnets? What’s your regular towel doing for you now? Watching
you slowly die of magnetism, that’s what.
The Megapixel Beard
Level 44 Facial Hair Great for taking pictures of all the sexy make-outs you’re going to
have now that you’ve got a robot beard. If there’s anything ladies
find more irresistible, write in and tell us and we’ll bolt it onto
this perpetual make-out machine.
The Gridiron Guardian
Level 39 Hat This helmet commemorates the epic Canadian Robot Football League
showdown between Les Montreal Footballiers and their Manitoban rivals
the Winnepeg Saskatchewans. Don’t believe us? Ask any Canadian!
Soldier's Sparkplug
Level 69 Cigar Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times it is a sparkplug.
Sometimes it is a boot. The important thing is that you have something
in your mouth that is on fire. Effect: Genteel Smoke
Soldered Sensei
Level 71 Hat Karate masters WANT you to think there’s no belt higher than black.
But what if we told you there was a secret metal belt ABOVE black that
lets you kick a black belt's ass all over the place? Scared black belt
guys have been trying to keep a lid on this for years.
Soldier's Sparkplug
Level 19 Cigar Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times it is a sparkplug.
Sometimes it is a boot. The important thing is that you have something
in your mouth that is on fire. Effect: Genteel Smoke
The Bolt Boy
Level 22 Hat That item was originally a make-believe superhero accessory tie-in to
an imaginary soft drink enjoyed by a fictional character. Now it's
also made of metal. There are so many layers of abstraction going on
here even we don't know what to make of it.
Texas Tin-Gallon
Level 67 Hat It's a historical fact that in cowboy times, cloth was hard to come
by. Creative cowpokes kept the sun out of their eyes by making hats
out of what they had in abundance: sheet-metal trees and bolt
cactuses.
Teddy Robobelt
Level 56 Pocket Buddy This tiny robotic bear used to be the President. Now he lives in your
pocket. How could the mighty have fallen so far? [makes drinking
gesture] Glug glug wink wink.
Bolted Bombardier
Level 18 Facial Hair Remember that time you met the wisest robot in the world? And tore his
beard off and stole his stupid pipe? Because the police are here and
they want to talk to you.
The Byte’d Beak
Level 50 Hat This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day
masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for
dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
The Megapixel Beard
Level 43 Facial Hair Great for taking pictures of all the sexy make-outs you’re going to
have now that you’ve got a robot beard. If there’s anything ladies
find more irresistible, write in and tell us and we’ll bolt it onto
this perpetual make-out machine.
The Titanium Towel
Level 60 Apparel Sure, regular towels work fine for water, but what if you’re covered
in magnets? What’s your regular towel doing for you now? Watching
you slowly die of magnetism, that’s what.
Plumber’s Pipe
Level 27 Hat Learn plumbing by osmosis with this handy Home Plumber's Kit! Comes
with pipe, length of wire.
Texas Tin-Gallon
Level 12 Hat It's a historical fact that in cowboy times, cloth was hard to come
by. Creative cowpokes kept the sun out of their eyes by making hats
out of what they had in abundance: sheet-metal trees and bolt
cactuses.
The Broadband Bonnet
Level 70 Hat This brimless bonnet cap comes equipped with a satellite pom-pom that
streams up-to-the-minute news relevant to the on-the-go Scotsman (golf
scores, whiskey prices, when "Braveheart" is on).
Tyrantium Helmet
Level 19 Hat This hat kicks your ass so hard you'll fly into an alternate dimension
where Vikings are robots. Deal with it!
The Timeless Topper
Level 65 Hat Most hats are made of felt, canvas or other non-durable cloths that
decompose after a mere 10,000 years. The Timeless Topper’s built for
the long haul, with an outer layer of scrap titanium and an inner core
of plastic bags, foam cups and disposable diapers.
Letch's LED
Level 84 Hat Comes with x-ray specs that let you see through people's clothes while
alerting them with a siren and shouted warnings that you're doing it.
Great for prison aficionados who want to go to jail but don't know
how.
Bolted Bombardier
Level 89 Facial Hair Remember that time you met the wisest robot in the world? And tore his
beard off and stole his stupid pipe? Because the police are here and
they want to talk to you.
The Byte’d Beak
Level 14 Hat This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day
masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for
dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
The Byte’d Beak
Level 96 Hat This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day
masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for
dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
The Byte’d Beak
Level 32 Hat This 17th century plague mask has been upgraded for modern day
masquerade-style sex parties with a built-in camera, night vision (for
dimly-lit sex parties!) and state-of-the-art sex detection radar.
Platinum Pickelhaube
Level 48 Hat Invented by Nikolai Tesla in any one of his ten million appearances in
crappy steampunk fiction, probably.
Modest Metal Pile of Scrap
Level 97 Hat This humble hat pile of one tells the world that there are more
important things in life than money. Like for instance not having any.
Full Metal Drill Hat
Level 76 Hat What is your major malfunction, Private Robot? You had best defrag
yourself or I will unscrew your head, access the CPU in your neck and
fix your major malfunction!
The Electric Escorter
Level 32 Hat "And it seems to me you lived your life / with a lightbulb in your
head / wishing you had cleaned the hole / as the cephalic tetanus
spread." – Elton John (words by Bernie Taupin)
Pyro's Boron Beanie
Level 1 Hat Friends and loved ones will call you stupid for wearing this hat.
"Hey, moron!" your mother will say. But they won’t think it’s so
funny when you win the Backwards Swimming competition at the Olympics,
and are later stripped of your medal for cheating.
Soldier's Sparkplug
Level 40 Cigar Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times it is a sparkplug.
Sometimes it is a boot. The important thing is that you have something
in your mouth that is on fire. Effect: Genteel Smoke
The Timeless Topper
Level 9 Hat Most hats are made of felt, canvas or other non-durable cloths that
decompose after a mere 10,000 years. The Timeless Topper’s built for
the long haul, with an outer layer of scrap titanium and an inner core
of plastic bags, foam cups and disposable diapers.
The Dual-Core Devil Doll
Level 86 Pocket Buddy These pint-sized pain proxies combine the erotic mysticism of Haitian
voodoo with the stultifying boredom of math.
The Megapixel Beard
Level 86 Facial Hair Great for taking pictures of all the sexy make-outs you’re going to
have now that you’ve got a robot beard. If there’s anything ladies
find more irresistible, write in and tell us and we’ll bolt it onto
this perpetual make-out machine.
Teddy Robobelt
Level 17 Pocket Buddy This tiny robotic bear used to be the President. Now he lives in your
pocket. How could the mighty have fallen so far? [makes drinking
gesture] Glug glug wink wink.
Soldier's Sparkplug
Level 18 Cigar Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Other times it is a sparkplug.
Sometimes it is a boot. The important thing is that you have something
in your mouth that is on fire. Effect: Genteel Smoke
Practitioner’s Processing Mask
Level 33 Fact: 70%% of the air you breathe was recently in someone’s butt.
This handy contraption runs the farty air you live in through a
gauntlet of soapy water and potpourri before entering your body.
The Scrap Sack
Level 16 Backpack Concerned about your many stalkers going through your garbage while
you’re at work? Rest easy with the Scrap Sack, which lets you keep
an eye on your secret-filled trash at all times.
The Scrumpy Strongbox
Level 82 Treasure This nitrogen-cooled liquor locker can only be opened by punching in
its constantly evolving polyalphabetic stream cipher, or with the big
metal key scotch taped to the bottom.
The Bunsen Brave
Level 89 Hat Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction
of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native
Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame
temperature of 3100 °C.
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: SharkBait
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #45
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #57
Gift from: Doctor Jewish
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #57
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #57
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #56
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: Tiny Lamia
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: Tiny Lamia
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #49
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #57
Gift from: Dr.Shoe is an evil mastermind.
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: KampfKeks<3
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: ๖ۣۜPepsi
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: Melee it out Stephano
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #57
Gift from: trolldier
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: Red Mendelssohn
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #57
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #54
Mann Co. Supply Crate
Level 10 You need a Mann Co. Supply Crate Key to open this.
You can pick one up at the Mann Co. Store. Crate Series #55
Gift from: Ultradrive
RoboCrate
Level 13 This crate is special.
Its contents are unknown and requires a
RoboCrate Key to unlock.
The RoboCrate contains Unusual effects that will only come from this
crate. Crate Series #58
Gift from: Ultradrive
Full Metal Drill Hat
Level 77 Hat What is your major malfunction, Private Robot? You had best defrag
yourself or I will unscrew your head, access the CPU in your neck and
fix your major malfunction!
The FR-0
Level 100 Hat Own this one-of-a-kind piece of memorabilia from the classic ‘70s
film "Blaxton Hale vs. Black HAL 9000".
The Googol Glass Eyes
Level 60 Hat These digital eye implants will let you check the weather, monitor the
stock market and look up cures for infection caused by jamming unclean
hunks of metal into your eye sockets.
The Bolt Boy
Level 44 Hat That item was originally a make-believe superhero accessory tie-in to
an imaginary soft drink enjoyed by a fictional character. Now it's
also made of metal. There are so many layers of abstraction going on
here even we don't know what to make of it.
The Strontium Stove Pipe
Level 58 Hat Beep boop! I am Old Railsplitter! Welcome to the Hall of
Robopresidents! I did my homework on the back of a shovel! Now I must
kill all humans with a shovel because I just now became sentient! Beep
boop kill all humans!
Noble Nickel Amassment of Hats
Level 20 Hat Some hat towers come from humble beginnings, clawing their way to
nobility one hat at a time. Other hat towers, like this one, just have
rich dads who are the Chief Business Development Officer at Hewlett
Packard.
Steel Shako
Level 62 Hat Combining the sublime pageantry of Tchaikovsky’s "Nutcracker" with
the bold futurism of Tchaikovsky’s "Robot Nutcracker vs. Tarzan".
Towering Titanium Pillar of Hats
Level 69 Hat Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics state that 1. Robots can’t harm
humans and 2. Robots must obey humans, and 3. This hat looks great.
Bootleg Base Metal Billycock
Level 74 Hat Trick your friends into thinking your enormous metal hat is a smaller,
different hat. If this was actually illegal it would be the PERFECT
CRIME.
The Scrap Sack
Level 60 Backpack Concerned about your many stalkers going through your garbage while
you’re at work? Rest easy with the Scrap Sack, which lets you keep
an eye on your secret-filled trash at all times.
The Virus Doctor
Level 32 Hat Whether you’re a 17th century plague doctor, a professional
wrestler, or a waiter at a plague-themed family restaurant, this hat
lets you look the part while delivering last rites, a Tombstone
Piledriver and/or plate after plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeño
poppers.
Battery Canteens
Level 86 Usable Item Don't let the name fool you: These aren't actual battery canteens
capable of converting stored chemical energy into electrical energy.
They're just regular canteens that look identical to your water
canteen and are filled with battery acid. Currently holds 0 charges Holds a maximum of 3 charges Each charge lasts 5 seconds
The Virus Doctor
Level 29 Hat Whether you’re a 17th century plague doctor, a professional
wrestler, or a waiter at a plague-themed family restaurant, this hat
lets you look the part while delivering last rites, a Tombstone
Piledriver and/or plate after plate of bacon-wrapped jalapeño
poppers.
The Googol Glass Eyes
Level 3 Hat These digital eye implants will let you check the weather, monitor the
stock market and look up cures for infection caused by jamming unclean
hunks of metal into your eye sockets.
The Scrumpy Strongbox
Level 90 Treasure This nitrogen-cooled liquor locker can only be opened by punching in
its constantly evolving polyalphabetic stream cipher, or with the big
metal key scotch taped to the bottom.
The HDMI Patch
Level 40 Photograph Bundled with a broad selection of eyeball-related movies ("Eyes Wide
Shut", "The Hills Have Eyes, Part II" and three more) that your
friends can enjoy from the comfort of your face.
The Data Mining Light
Level 48 Hat If you’re a rugged coal miner like us, you know the value of
throwing away your mining equipment and mining in the nude so people
know how tough you are. Finally there’s a version for the office
worker to not wear while nudely analyzing spreadsheets.
The Rusty Reaper
Level 94 Hat Are you the personification of death? Do you need to spraypaint
something indoors? This skull-shaped rebreather has you covered.
The Broadband Bonnet
Level 94 Hat This brimless bonnet cap comes equipped with a satellite pom-pom that
streams up-to-the-minute news relevant to the on-the-go Scotsman (golf
scores, whiskey prices, when "Braveheart" is on).
Modest Metal Pile of Scrap
Level 37 Hat This humble hat pile of one tells the world that there are more
important things in life than money. Like for instance not having any.
The Plug-In Prospector
Level 99 Hat Robo-future history comes alive! Pretend you’re a grizzled,
cantankerous robot prospector, drunk on teeny-tiny shots of
nano-whiskey in the Olllld Cyber-West during the Great Battery Rush of
3047.
Pyro's Boron Beanie
Level 60 Hat Friends and loved ones will call you stupid for wearing this hat.
"Hey, moron!" your mother will say. But they won’t think it’s so
funny when you win the Backwards Swimming competition at the Olympics,
and are later stripped of your medal for cheating.
Platinum Pickelhaube
Level 18 Hat Invented by Nikolai Tesla in any one of his ten million appearances in
crappy steampunk fiction, probably.
The Steam Pipe
Level 90 Pipe Just like steampunk ruined reading, the steampipe destroys the
harmless pleasure of smoking by tarting it up with a lot of bolts and
dials and Nikolai Teslas. Comes with period-appropriate Gary Oldman
Dracula glasses! Effect: Genteel Smoke
Towering Titanium Pillar of Hats
Level 4 Hat Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics state that 1. Robots can’t harm
humans and 2. Robots must obey humans, and 3. This hat looks great.
The Bolt Boy
Level 17 Hat That item was originally a make-believe superhero accessory tie-in to
an imaginary soft drink enjoyed by a fictional character. Now it's
also made of metal. There are so many layers of abstraction going on
here even we don't know what to make of it.
The Titanium Towel
Level 73 Apparel Sure, regular towels work fine for water, but what if you’re covered
in magnets? What’s your regular towel doing for you now? Watching
you slowly die of magnetism, that’s what.
Tyrantium Helmet
Level 34 Hat This hat kicks your ass so hard you'll fly into an alternate dimension
where Vikings are robots. Deal with it!
The Googol Glass Eyes
Level 37 Hat These digital eye implants will let you check the weather, monitor the
stock market and look up cures for infection caused by jamming unclean
hunks of metal into your eye sockets.
Base Metal Billycock
Level 20 Hat Robo-impersonate your favorite fictional bowler-hatted characters,
from Batman's Riddler to Clockwork Orange's Alex to England's Winston
Churchill.
The Bolted Birdcage
Level 43 Hat You love the hard-hitting Robin Williams/Nathan Lane bird prison drama
"The Birdcage" so much you wish you could be thinking about it all the
time. The problem: Life’s many distractions. The solution: This.
The Tungsten Toque
Level 100 Hat Commemorate history's greatest robot Canadians with this knitted steel
cap. Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau! Optimus Prime Minister!
Commander Data from the hit CBC drama Deep Space Prince Edward Island!
Modest Metal Pile of Scrap
Level 84 Hat This humble hat pile of one tells the world that there are more
important things in life than money. Like for instance not having any.
Tyrantium Helmet
Level 98 Hat This hat kicks your ass so hard you'll fly into an alternate dimension
where Vikings are robots. Deal with it!
Halogen Head Lamp
Level 38 Hat This medical marvel improves on the obsolete doctor’s head mirror by
replacing the mirror part with a 10,000 watt lamp part that can be
seen from space. Peer inside your patients’ disease-riddled ears,
noses and throats from a safe distance.
The Steam Pipe
Level 45 Pipe Just like steampunk ruined reading, the steampipe destroys the
harmless pleasure of smoking by tarting it up with a lot of bolts and
dials and Nikolai Teslas. Comes with period-appropriate Gary Oldman
Dracula glasses! Effect: Genteel Smoke
The Pure Tin Capotain
Level 85 Hat Witch-hunting: necessary, but time-consuming. What if we told you you
could burn up to five witches a day without lifting a finger?
Introducing the Pure Tin Capotain, the greatest time-saving invention
since the electric can opener.
Titanium Tyrolean
Level 74 Hat Meet the robot apocalypse in style with this puckish number, perfect
for infiltrating the sentient mother computer located in the Swiss
pavilion at Epcot Center.
The Filamental
Level 58 Hat Is your Pyro made up of alternating current or direct current? Only
your electrician knows for sure!
The Tungsten Toque
Level 17 Hat Commemorate history's greatest robot Canadians with this knitted steel
cap. Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau! Optimus Prime Minister!
Commander Data from the hit CBC drama Deep Space Prince Edward Island!
The Bolted Birdcage
Level 97 Hat You love the hard-hitting Robin Williams/Nathan Lane bird prison drama
"The Birdcage" so much you wish you could be thinking about it all the
time. The problem: Life’s many distractions. The solution: This.
The Bunsen Brave
Level 75 Hat Scientists have long been baffled by the seamless metal construction
of Native American grass houses and wigwams. The secret? Native
Americans were filled with gasoline, and could reach a welding flame
temperature of 3100 °C.
Pyro's Boron Beanie
Level 55 Hat Friends and loved ones will call you stupid for wearing this hat.
"Hey, moron!" your mother will say. But they won’t think it’s so
funny when you win the Backwards Swimming competition at the Olympics,
and are later stripped of your medal for cheating.
The Bot Dogger
Level 65 Hat It's inevitable that robot hot dog hats will someday become the most
popular fashion accessory on the planet. And when they do, everyone
will claim they liked them "before they were cool." Thanks to the Bot
Dogger, only YOU will be able to prove it.
The Gridiron Guardian
Level 29 Hat This helmet commemorates the epic Canadian Robot Football League
showdown between Les Montreal Footballiers and their Manitoban rivals
the Winnepeg Saskatchewans. Don’t believe us? Ask any Canadian!
Practitioner’s Processing Mask
Level 42 Fact: 70%% of the air you breathe was recently in someone’s butt.
This handy contraption runs the farty air you live in through a
gauntlet of soapy water and potpourri before entering your body.
The Plug-In Prospector
Level 22 Hat Robo-future history comes alive! Pretend you’re a grizzled,
cantankerous robot prospector, drunk on teeny-tiny shots of
nano-whiskey in the Olllld Cyber-West during the Great Battery Rush of
3047.
Noble Nickel Amassment of Hats
Level 90 Hat Some hat towers come from humble beginnings, clawing their way to
nobility one hat at a time. Other hat towers, like this one, just have
rich dads who are the Chief Business Development Officer at Hewlett
Packard.
The Rusty Reaper
Level 98 Hat Are you the personification of death? Do you need to spraypaint
something indoors? This skull-shaped rebreather has you covered.
The Cyborg Stunt Helmet
Level 58 Hat If you pause that big fight scene in the classic film "Swinging Fists
of Future Hercules", you can tell that's not actually famous robot
actor Kirk RoboDouglas, but a cyborg stuntman. Support the unsung
heroes of the silver-plated screen with this limited edition stunt
helmet.
Scattergun
Level 1 Scattergun
Vintage Bonk! Atomic Punch
Level 5 Lunch Box
The Vintage Sandman
Level 15 Bat Alt-Fire: Launches a ball that stuns opponents -15 max health on wearer
Rocket Launcher
Level 1 Rocket Launcher
The Vintage Gunboats
Level 10 Boots -60% blast damage from rocket jumps
The Vintage Equalizer
Level 10 Pickaxe Damage increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
Soldier's Stash
Level 68 Hat This hat does not in any way, shape, or form, promote smoking or
gambling.
Flame Thrower
Level 1 Flame Thrower
Shotgun
Level 1 Shotgun
Fire Axe
Level 1 Fire Axe
Stickybomb Launcher
Level 1 Stickybomb Launcher
The Scottish Resistance
Level 5 Stickybomb Launcher +25% faster firing speed Detonates stickybombs near the crosshair and directly under your feet Able to destroy enemy stickybombs +50% max secondary ammo on wearer +6 max pipebombs out 0.8 sec slower bomb arm time
Bottle
Level 1 Bottle
Reggaelator
Level 28 Hat Every little thing is gonna be alright. Crafted by Fertile Ape
"STOP RIGHT THEY'RE, CRIMINAL SCUM!"
Level 5 Minigun On Hit: 100% chance to slow target -25% damage penalty 30% slower spin up time
The Vintage Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box
Fists
Level 1 Fists
The Hound Dog
Level 71 Hat Your opponents will be all shook up when they see these sweet shades
and coif.
Shotgun
Level 1 Shotgun
Pistol
Level 1 Pistol
Wrench
Level 1 Wrench
Industrial Festivizer
Level 36 Hat
Syringe Gun
Level 1 Syringe Gun
Medi Gun
Level 1 Medi Gun
The Solemn Vow
Level 10 Bust of Hippocrates 'Do no harm.' Allows you to see enemy health
Level 15 Bat Alt-Fire: Launches a ball that stuns opponents -15 max health on wearer
Rocket Launcher
Level 1 Rocket Launcher
The Vintage Gunboats
Level 10 Boots -60% blast damage from rocket jumps
The Vintage Equalizer
Level 10 Pickaxe Damage increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
Soldier's Stash
Level 68 Hat This hat does not in any way, shape, or form, promote smoking or
gambling.
Flame Thrower
Level 1 Flame Thrower
Shotgun
Level 1 Shotgun
Fire Axe
Level 1 Fire Axe
Stickybomb Launcher
Level 1 Stickybomb Launcher
The Scottish Resistance
Level 5 Stickybomb Launcher +25% faster firing speed Detonates stickybombs near the crosshair and directly under your feet Able to destroy enemy stickybombs +50% max secondary ammo on wearer +6 max pipebombs out 0.8 sec slower bomb arm time
Bottle
Level 1 Bottle
Reggaelator
Level 28 Hat Every little thing is gonna be alright. Crafted by Fertile Ape
"STOP RIGHT THEY'RE, CRIMINAL SCUM!"
Level 5 Minigun On Hit: 100% chance to slow target -25% damage penalty 30% slower spin up time
The Vintage Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box
Fists
Level 1 Fists
The Hound Dog
Level 71 Hat Your opponents will be all shook up when they see these sweet shades
and coif.
Shotgun
Level 1 Shotgun
Pistol
Level 1 Pistol
Wrench
Level 1 Wrench
Industrial Festivizer
Level 36 Hat
Syringe Gun
Level 1 Syringe Gun
Medi Gun
Level 1 Medi Gun
The Solemn Vow
Level 10 Bust of Hippocrates 'Do no harm.' Allows you to see enemy health
Level 10 Pickaxe Damage increases as the user becomes injured Blocks healing while in use
The Buff Banner
Level 5 Battle Banner Provides an offensive buff that causes
nearby team members to do mini-crits.
The Scottish Resistance
Level 5 Stickybomb Launcher +25% faster firing speed Detonates stickybombs near the crosshair and directly under your feet Able to destroy enemy stickybombs +50% max secondary ammo on wearer +6 max pipebombs out 0.8 sec slower bomb arm time
The Chargin' Targe
Level 10 Shield Alt-Fire: Gain increased attack power by
charging toward your enemies. +50% fire damage resistance on wearer +40% explosive damage resistance on wearer
The Eyelander
Level 5 Sword This weapon has a large melee range.
Gives increased speed and health
with every head you take. No random critical hits -25 max health on wearer
The Gunboats
Level 10 Boots -60% blast damage from rocket jumps
The Wrangler
Level 5 Laser Pointer Take manual control of your Sentry Gun
Frontier Justice
Level 5 Shotgun When your sentry is destroyed you gain revenge crits for every sentry kill No random critical hits -50% clip size
The Gunslinger
Level 15 Robot Arm +25 max health on wearer Replaces the Sentry with a fast building Mini-Sentry No random critical hits
The Homewrecker
Level 5 Sledgehammer 100% damage vs buildings Damage removes Sappers -25% damage vs players
The Pain Train
Level 5 Makeshift Club +1 capture rate on wearer 10% bullet damage vulnerability on wearer
The Southern Hospitality
Level 20 Wrench On Hit: Bleed for 5 seconds No random critical hits 20% fire damage vulnerability on wearer
The Dalokohs Bar
Level 1 Lunch Box Adds +50 max health for 30 seconds
The Lugermorph
Level 5 Pistol The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?
The Big Kill
Level 5 Revolver Combines style with stopping power.
Long exclusive to Freelance Police,
now available for other blood-thirsty mercenaries.
Crit-a-Cola
Level 5 Lunch Box While under the effects, +25% movement speed and damage done and
damage taken will be mini-crits.
The Golden Wrench
Level 25 Wrench Imbued with an ancient power
( Not Tradable )
The Tribalman's Shiv
Level 5 Kukri On Hit: Bleed for 6 seconds -50% damage penalty
Level 1 Peppergun Mann Co.'s latest in high attitude
break-action personal defense.
The Holy Mackerel
Level 42 Fish Getting hit by a fish has got to be humiliating.
Mad Milk
Level 5 Non-Milk Substance Players heal 60% of the damage done
to an enemy covered with milk.
L'Etranger
Level 5 Revolver +15 cloak on hit -20% damage penalty
Your Eternal Reward
Level 1 Knife Upon a successful backstab against a human target, you rapidly disguise as your victim Silent Killer: No attack noise from backstabs Wearer cannot disguise
The Battalion's Backup
Level 10 Battle Banner Provides a defensive buff that protects
nearby team members from crits
and blocks 35% of incoming damage.
Rage increases through damage taken.
The Black Box
Level 5 Rocket Launcher On Hit: +15 health -25% clip size
The Sydney Sleeper
Level 1 Sniper Rifle On Hit: Jarate applied to target for 8 seconds +25% charge rate No headshots No random critical hits
Darwin's Danger Shield
Level 10 Shield +25 max health on wearer
The Bushwacka
Level 5 Kukri Crits whenever it would normally mini-crit 20% fire damage vulnerability on wearer
The Rocket Jumper
Level 1 Rocket Launcher A special no-damage rocket launcher for learning
rocket jump tricks and patterns. No self inflicted blast damage taken +200% max primary ammo on wearer -100% damage penalty No random critical hits Wearer cannot carry the intelligence briefcase
Gloves of Running Urgently
Level 10 Boxing Gloves +30% faster move speed on wearer You are marked for death while active, and for short period after switching weapons When weapon is active: -25% damage penalty
The Frying Pan
Level 5 Frying Pan
The Sticky Jumper
Level 1 Stickybomb Launcher A special no-damage stickybomb launcher for learning stickybomb jump
tricks and patterns. No self inflicted blast damage taken +200% max secondary ammo on wearer override projectile type (14) -100% damage penalty No random critical hits Wearer cannot carry the intelligence briefcase
Unusual Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker
Level 5 Axe Cursed by dark spirits similar to
those that dwell within the Eyelander. No random critical hits -25 max health on wearer
The Lugermorph
Level 5 Pistol The ultimate in semi-concealed weaponry.
There's no question you need this gun,
the only question is: where will you keep it?
The Enthusiast's Timepiece
Level 5 Invis Watch
( Not Tradable )
Iron Curtain
Level 5 Minigun
( Not Tradable )
The Amputator
Level 15 Bonesaw On Taunt: Applies a healing effect to all nearby teammates
Crusader's Crossbow
Level 15 Crossbow Fires special bolts that heal teammates and deal damage based on distance traveled 40% faster reload time No headshots -75% max primary ammo on wearer
The Ullapool Caber
Level 10 Stick Bomb High-yield Scottish face removal.
A sober person would throw it... No random critical hits
Level 10 Boxing Gloves +30% damage bonus -20 max health on wearer
The Buffalo Steak Sandvich
Level 1 Lunch Box While under the effects, move speed is increased,
damage done and taken will be mini-crits,
and the player may only use melee weapons.
Who needs bread?
The Brass Beast
Level 5 Minigun +20% damage bonus 50% slower spin up time -60% slower move speed while deployed
The Candy Cane
Level 25 Bat On Kill: A small health pack is dropped 25% explosive damage vulnerability on wearer
The Boston Basher
Level 25 Bat On Hit: Bleed for 5 seconds On Miss: Hit yourself. Idiot.
The Back Scratcher
Level 10 Garden Rake +25% damage bonus +50% health from packs on wearer -75% health from healers on wearer
The Claidheamh Mòr
Level 5 Sword 0.5 sec increase in charge duration No random critical hits -15 max health on wearer
The Jag
Level 15 Wrench 30% faster construction rate -25% damage penalty
The Fists of Steel
Level 10 Boxing Gloves -40% damage from ranged sources while active +100% damage from melee sources while active 20% longer weapon switch
Sharpened Volcano Fragment
Level 10 RIFT Fire Axe Improves upon Mother Nature's original
design for volcanos by increasing portability.
Modern science is unable to explain exactly
where the lava is coming from. On Hit: target is engulfed in flames -20% damage penalty
The Sun-on-a-Stick
Level 10 RIFT Fire Mace Spiky end goes into other man. 100% critical hit vs burning players -25% damage penalty
Level 5 Sashimono With buff, some damage
Dished out by nearby teammates
Comes back as healing
The Fan O'War
Level 5 Gunbai Winds of Gravel Pit
Scout brings on his fan!
You are marked for death On Hit: One target at a time is marked for death, causing all damage taken to be mini-crits -90% damage penalty
Conniver's Kunai
Level 1 Kunai Start off with low health
Kill somebody with this knife
Steal all of their health On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim. -65 max health on wearer
The Half-Zatoichi
Level 5 Katana Soldiers and Demos
Can duel with katanas
For a one-hit kill On Kill: Restores you to 100% health Honorbound: Once drawn cannot be sheathed until it kills.
The Shahanshah
Level 5 Kukri 25% increase in damage when health <50% of max -25% decrease in damage when health >50% of max
The Bazaar Bargain
Level 10 Sniper Rifle Each scoped headshot decreases the weapon's charge time.
A scoped body shot or miss reduces the bonus.
Base charge rate decreased by 20%
The Persian Persuader
Level 10 Sword +100% increase in charge recharge rate All ammo collected becomes health No random critical hits
Ali Baba's Wee Booties
Level 10 Boots +100% increase in turning control while charging +25 max health on wearer
The Splendid Screen
Level 10 Shield Can deal charge impact damage at any range +70% increase in charge impact damage +20% fire damage resistance on wearer +15% explosive damage resistance on wearer
The Quick-Fix
Level 8 Medi Gun Prototype Can't overheal.
Move at the speed of any faster heal target. +40% heal rate +25% ÜberCharge rate ÜberCharge increases healing by 300% and grants immunity to movement-impairing effects
The Overdose
Level 5 Syringe Gun Prototype Movement speed increases based on ÜberCharge percentage to a maximum
of +10% -10% damage penalty
The Solemn Vow
Level 10 Bust of Hippocrates 'Do no harm.' Allows you to see enemy health
Level 1 Fishcake Vossler Industries All-Natural Artificial-Fish-Derived Food Product Adds +50 max health for 30 seconds
The Cow Mangler 5000
Level 30 Focused Wave Projector Does not require ammo Alt-Fire: A charged shot that mini-crits players and disables buildings for 4 sec No random critical hits Deals only 20% damage to buildings -10% damage penalty Cannot be crit boosted 5% slower reload time
The Righteous Bison
Level 30 Indivisible Particle Smasher Does not require ammo Projectile penetrates enemy targets Projectile cannot be deflected Deals only 20% damage to buildings
The Mantreads
Level 10 Boots -75% reduction in push force taken from damage Deals 3x falling damage to the player you land on
The Disciplinary Action
Level 10 Riding Crop On Hit Ally: Boosts both players' speed for several seconds -25% damage penalty
The Soda Popper
Level 10 Scattergun Builds Hype as you run. When the Hype Meter is full, unleash
mini-crits! 25% faster reload time +50% faster firing speed -66% clip size No random critical hits
The Winger
Level 15 Pistol +15% damage bonus -60% clip size
The Atomizer
Level 10 Bat Grants Triple Jump: The third jump deals 10 damage when used -30% slower firing speed -20% damage vs players
Three-Rune Blade
Level 10 Sword On Hit: Bleed for 5 seconds On Miss: Hit yourself. Idiot.
The Postal Pummeler
Level 10 Mailbox 100% critical hit vs burning players -50% damage vs non-burning players No critical hits vs non-burning players
The Enforcer
Level 5 Revolver +20% damage bonus while undisguised No random critical hits -20% slower firing speed
The Big Earner
Level 1 Knife +30 cloak on kill -25 max health on wearer
The Maul
Level 5 Sledgehammer Packs a devastating punch with a hint of Mars dust. 100% damage vs buildings Damage removes Sappers -25% damage vs players
The Conscientious Objector
Level 25 Sign We gave peace a chance. It didn't work.
Custom decals can be applied to this item.
Nessie's Nine Iron
Level 5 Golf Club No random critical hits -25 max health on wearer
The Original
Level 5 Rocket Launcher
The Diamondback
Level 5 Revolver Gives one guaranteed critical hit for each building destroyed with your sapper attached -15% damage penalty No random critical hits
The Machina
Level 5 Sniper Rifle On Full Charge: Projectiles penetrate players On Full Charge: +15% damage per shot Cannot fire unless zoomed Fires tracer rounds
The Widowmaker
Level 5 Shotgun No reload necessary On Hit: damage dealt is returned as ammo Per Shot: -30 ammo Uses metal for ammo
The Short Circuit
Level 5 Robot Arm On Fire: Generates an electrical field that destroys projectiles and does slight damage to players No reload necessary Per Shot: -35 ammo Uses metal for ammo No random critical hits
Unarmed Combat
Level 1 - 100 So nice of the Spy to lend an arm...
Wanga Prick
Level 1 - 100 Knife Upon a successful backstab against a human target, you rapidly disguise as your victim Silent Killer: No attack noise from backstabs Wearer cannot disguise
The Apoco-Fists
Level 10 Fists Turn every one of your fingers into the Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse! That's over nineteen Horsemen of the Apocalypse per glove!
The most Apocalypse we've ever dared attach to one hand! Killing an enemy with a critical hit will dismember your victim. Painfully.
The Pomson 6000
Level 10 Indivisible Particle Smasher Being an innovative hand-held irradiating utensil capable of producing
rapid pulses of high-amplitude radiation in sufficient quantity as to
immolate, maim and otherwise incapacitate the Irish. Does not require ammo Projectile cannot be deflected On Hit: Victim loses 10% Medigun charge On Hit: Victim loses 20% cloak
The Eureka Effect
Level 20 Wrench Being a tool that eliminates exertion by harnessing the electrical
discharges of thunder-storms for the vigorous coercion of bolts, nuts,
pipes and similar into their rightful places. May also be used to
bludgeon. On Alt-Fire: Teleport to spawn Cannot carry buildings
The Third Degree
Level 10 Fire Axe Being a boon to tree-fellers, backwoodsmen and atom-splitters the
world over, this miraculous matter-hewing device burns each individual
molecule as it cleaves it. All players connected via Medigun beams are hit
The Phlogistinator
Level 10 Flame Thrower Being a revolutionary appliance capable of awakening the fire element
phlogiston that exists in all combustible creatures, which is to say,
all of them. All fire damage charges 'Mmmph', activate to refill health and crit for several seconds -10% damage penalty No airblast No random critical hits
The Manmelter
Level 30 Indivisible Particle Smasher Being a device that flouts conventional scientific consensus that the
molecules composing the human body must be arranged "just so", and
not, for example, across a square-mile radius. Does not require ammo +50% projectile speed Alt-Fire: Extinguish teammates to gain guaranteed critical hits No random critical hits
The Bootlegger
Level 10 Boots Amaze your friends! Impress women! Walk with a limp for life! It's
grotesque! +100% increase in turning control while charging +25 max health on wearer
The Scottish Handshake
Level 10 Bottle Your enemies will think you're making peace, right up until t